The cost of living in NYC to do an Off-off Broadway show

Last year I was sent a brief for an Aussie play called The Culture that was debuting on Broadway… in New York, not KXT. I definitely thought it was a scam and disregarded it. Weeks later the writer contacted me saying I had been referred to her by the lovely Simon Bourke and so I thought… this is definitely a scam… and also a pyramid scheme! I jest.

Initial round of auditions was via self tape and the callback was in person with Laura Jackson, Carly Fisher and the American director Bethany Caputo (via zoom with an impressive three camera/two laptop set up). It was great to be back in the room despite the con of needing to wear pants… not that in person auditions have ever stopped me before. One time a casting director actually asked for it… “Come in, dear. Have a seat. Take off your pants if you like.” But they gave me a towel to wear, it’s okay.

Rehearsals for The Culture, Sydney

Next thing I knew, I was going to Broadway babyyy, spending a total of 6 weeks in NYC. We rehearsed part time for about 4 weeks in Sydney in an echoey room while Bethany was on zoom following along on the script and guessing what we were up to from our blocking… which was especially fun for her because even we didn’t know half our blocking. Bethany assured us it was working… until we reached her in New York, where she informed us that it was in fact not working and that she had never actually seen the show. I’m only half joking. Added to the challenge of zoom rehearsals, it was also a new play and the script was constantly evolving, with brilliant Laura usually re-drafting overnight (all whilst nursing her 11 month old baby – what a boss). As a result, I had struggled to learn my lines but fortunately I was able to spend about 14 hours of my 26 hour flight to NYC learning them, and the remainder of the time trying to sleep or searching for snacks… 

So let’s talk cash. The USD to AUD conversion was at $1.49 which basically means you’re paying an extra 50% per dollar aka $1 USD = $1.50 AUD. And I had this incredible ability to constantly tell everyone the Australian price for what they were purchasing, without them even asking me, which I’m sure they really appreciated and wasn’t annoying for them in the slightest. “Just so you know that pizza is actually $9, not $6.” One time I paid $15 AUD for one medium Starbucks coffee! $15 you guys! Side note: I’m with Great Southern Bank which charges .1% of the price on top of every transaction, however another friend’s bank charged them $5 per transaction. Suffice it to say they came home broke. This time I wish I was joking. 

Return flights to NYC during December were about 3K return (and that was flying back on Christmas day to make it cheaper) and airbnb costs in midtown where I was staying are usually about $185 USD per night, per person on average. Fun fact: It is illegal to sublet an entire home for less than 30 days in NYC, meaning short stays are basically illegal, but after our experience I would recommend hotels anyway, they basically cost the same (again these days) but you also get your room serviced every day, just like when I live with my parents. We were also told that cops might come knocking on our door to see if we were the real tenants and that if they did that we shouldn’t answer… to which I added… unless someone is having a bachelor/ette party that night, right? 

When I got to NY the jet lag kicked in and it sucked… unless I was going out for a night on the town in which case, it was a bonus. Club entry is generally free until midnight (unless it’s a ticketed event) after which it’s usually around $20-$30 USD. I was also ready for the temperature in NY to be freezing outside, but I wasn’t ready for it to be freezing in our shower – which had no hot water. On the flip side, it really just knocked that sleepy jet lag feeling right out of me. After 4 weeks of failed hot water repairs we threw in the towel and moved to hotel pods – which are exactly like they sound – a tiny room with a bed/shower and no kitchenette or even mini fridge – these usually start at about $89 a night. This meant eating out more often… which was a huge expense given a regular burger, fries and shake costs about $20-$25 USD a pop in the city. A slice of pizza is usually double or triple the size of an Aussie slice and will cost between $4-7 USD. I never got to try a 99c piece because I never had cash on me but with tipping you’d easily pay a second dollar! The tipping really irked me, especially because I had been told if you’re standing when you order you don’t need to tip (at all/as much), and yet they would always swivel that screen around and make me pay 18% of my $6 small coffee (with taxes)… and just in case I haven’t repeated myself enough times that’s $9 AUD before tipping. I tried to avoid tipping but twice noticed them either bump my order up or down depending on whether I tipped – but that wasn’t common. This rant has gone on too long, American wages suck and I feel for the workers but so does our conversion rate.

Being in NYC was truly magical though. Just walking down the streets felt special and never wore off for me. Whenever I would get a viewpoint of the whole city I would always feel this overwhelming elation. My friend Nabiha described it akin to feeling like you’d made it – and to be fair just being able to afford being in that city feels like an achievement. Even when my phone got pick-pocketed 3 days into the trip (without proper insurance btw because I’m stoopid and it was going to cost too much extra and I had never lost anything in my life – lol famous last words) or when I got pinkeye on the plane and had to pay $360 for a medical appointment, it was no biggie. I was reminding myself to be grateful and constantly thinking about a good friend of mine who had passed under tragic circumstances and well, nothing could ever compare to that. Her name was Grace and she was the life of the party, always living every single moment to the fullest, and so I credit the incredible time I had on this trip to her. 

We were rehearsing at the Michael Chekhov Studio, a short trip via the subway from our place – every subway trip costs $2.75 USD (still cheaper after conversion than our trains), no matter how far you are travelling within the city, and if you sign up to OMNY – their ticketing system – you pay for a maximum of 12 trips, after which you travel free until the end of the week. 

Director Bethany Caputo, myself and Laura Jackson rehearsing in the Michael Checkhov Studio, New York

After our final week of rehearsal I was conscious of my life becoming entirely consumed by the character/performance, so I set myself the task of finding friends, something I would usually be nervous about doing in a new city, again I was thinking of Grace. Although it may be hard to believe for those who know me, I’m actually a very nervous traveller, and the fact that my bank card would constantly stop working because my bank would flag transactions as fraudulent really didn’t help. The first time it happened I was stranded with no bank card and the number I had to call to fix it was international and to call that number I had to upgrade my phone plan but I needed to pay for the upgrade. So you see my predicament. In the end I walked 30 minutes to get home and grab my emergency cash and then head back to T-Mobile to pay for the upgrade so I could call my bank. With unlimited calls and data and the upgrade for international calls I was paying $70 USD a month (I only used 9 days of the second month before I left. Tip: you no longer require sims with T-Mobile, you can just download and sign up on the app on your phone. 

Initially I was using Bumble bff and I probably chatted to about 40 people and met three. Surprisingly, the ones I met were all good ones, the genuine types that left you feeling energised and also weren’t flaky. And then I made friends with their friends, who were also very good! I couldn’t believe my luck. These people were incredibly generous with their time, and one of them, Brendon, even gave me his old iPhone 7 (after my phone was stolen) before he’d even properly met me. The cost? Nil. 

Brendon

Nabiha, Ash, Rahul

I was also seeing theatre. But not as much as the rest of the crew. I’m pretty sure Producer (and Theatre Travels creator/reviewer) Carly Fisher saw more shows than days she was here, which deserves some sort of prize. Carly also signed up to a website called TDF for which I’m pretty sure she paid an annual fee of $80 but would get us $5 tickets for shows that were worth over $60. I generally used TodayTix and their rush function but their booking fees were a joke. I would also just go to their box office just before the show and ask for the cheapest ticket. Rush tickets were anywhere between $25 to $70. I got a $67 ticket for Wicked valued at $150 and it was well worth it – I wept and bellowed laughter the whole way through and afterwards the American lady next to me said that she really enjoyed sitting with me, it was really sweet – I had more of these positive experiences than negative ones with the NY folk.   

Before we knew it we were bumped into the theatre and having our first audience. Given the time of year (not to mention theatre in general still being pretty quiet post Covid) and being a new Aussie play in New York, it was difficult to get the word out there but we still found an audience, and they lapped it up. Sometimes quiet but always engaged. A few times people would come up to us after the show sobbing because they had been so affected by the play. It was maybe the first time I was doing a show where a lack of audience response during the show didn’t affect my performance negatively or make me overanalyse what I was doing – a good lesson. Not only did Laura and I have great chemistry but our director would always say, when we were having fun, so were the audience, so we really just trusted each other. It was also just so easy to stay inspired when we would walk out of the theatre and see all the other shows lit up on billboards. We felt like we were part of something special.

Laura Jackson and myself performing in The Culture, New York

Depending on your perspective, the city has the ability to inspire you or make you feel tiny and insignificant. All of the actors on Broadway had incredibly illustrious careers both on stage and screen, and yet, most of the time, I had no idea who they were. And then to imagine how many talented actors there must be that couldn’t even get work was extremely humbling… but not for me because I was doing a show just down the road from Times Square… haha I’m definitely joking, I literally had to help build and also return our set to IKEA personally. It was also exciting to realise that back home I had worked on productions that were on just as large a scale as some of the biggest shows I was seeing in NY – and I’m sure our audiences didn’t recognise me either. 

On that note, I was very stoked to hit the ground running with a show at Griffin titled Sex Magick, which I describe as “sexy counting and cracking” or “the show where we have an orgy”, even though that seems reductive to Nick Brown’s genius playwriting and Declan Green’s inspired direction but hey… sex sells right? And it certainly did, as we are now in our final week and it is completely sold out.

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As a result of this clash, I sadly had to drop out of the national tour of The Culture around Australia, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still the show without me, playing at Flight Path Theatre in May!

To summarise, with my rent and bills still being deducted back home, I think I spent an average of $1500 – $2000 AUD a week in New York (not including travel and accomodation) totalling around 10-12K over six weeks, and I was being frugal. One friend spent 5K in their first week. Whoever said it was the most expensive city in the world wasn’t mucking around, but I would love to do it again someday. Fortunately, I just had a new HSBC commercial come out which softened the financial blow and also a small role on Colin From Accounts which you can watch now on Binge! 

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Thanks New York City, thanks to the gorgeous friends who showed me so much love, thanks Carly and Laura for giving me this opportunity and thanks Broadway for the inspiration to go hard and chase your dreams. 

What it’s like re-rehearsing for a COVID postponed show

It’s honestly been so long since I did one of these I genuinely forgot I had a blog. Is this living in the moment… or just my terrible memory? Probably the latter as I’ve just finished re-rehearsing Son of Byblos (SOB), which closed days before tech during last year’s 7 month Sydney lockdown, and the lines were definitely not coming back to me. I also made my debut at Sydney Theatre Company stepping into a role in the Grand Horizon’s post-covid remount – more on that process later.

When I started rehearsing SOB mid last year, a month or so after completing our six week run of Stop Girl at Belvoir I was feeling inspired, show fit and ready to go. Having just worked with powerhouse Sheridan Harbridge, who would come into every rehearsal from day one with lines pretty much down, I too had found that the earlier I was off book the more time I had to make discoveries. I came in every day, lines down and boy did it make a difference, I felt freer and more confident, despite being in every scene of the show bar one, which is always daunting.

It’s an incredible cast (all of them super talented and friends) and I had worked with the director Anna Jahjah on Beirut Adrenaline (also downstairs belvoir before it was Dom Mercer’s 25A), which had opened many doors for me as a young actor who had just graduated Drama School at the time.

The show was coming together beautifully until COVID reared it’s ugly derrière.

When it was shutdown I tried to focus on the positives;
– the show would eventually get rescheduled
– we had yet to get into tech unlike other shows which were already in previews and about to open
– we had all this beautiful work that we had done to come back to when the show was up again… “probably in a couple of months” we thought… hahaha haha hahaha

Coming back to the show a year later felt completely different. I didn’t want to do it. Not because I didn’t love everything about it but because I felt fatigued by the idea of doing it all over again.

I had already learnt all the lines, the blocking, made choices, established character relationships and arcs, and I didn’t want to do it all over again.

Firstly, the lines were mostly gone. Being a new work, the writer, James Elazzi, had also done some re-writes to the script so even some of the lines that were still in my head were no longer in the script. Secondly the blocking was nearly entirely gone from my mind. Fortunately, I had made a lot of notes for myself but a whole year later a lot of those choices felt forced and completely unnatural. I would read “puts his head on her knee”, in a scene where my scene partner was berating my character and I would think how did I ever make that work when all I wanna do now is stand back and give them space? Not only that but I had also made a lot of notes on possible character choices, intentions and even responses and found myself again feeling very restricted by trying to replicate what I had decided a year prior.

And so we decided to start from scratch, we had to trust that we would find it again. Ironically, it was when I finally let go of all of my old notes and played again that I would eventually find my way back to making those old choices work, but it had to be through the correct process of discovery – which is just acting 101. Be. In. The. Moment.

SOB rehearsal photos by Antony Makhlouf

It also never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to remember a line when it’s connected to the previous line/thought – it will just come out of you – but if you don’t learn it right, it can be a nightmare. But sometimes you need to learn it by rote, and Deb Galanos, who plays Carol (Adam’s mother) definitely had the hardest job in that regard, with many of her lines having nothing to do with the conversation that is taking place, but she certainly rose to the challenge, as you will see in the show.

So what else happened over the last year? Well I made my STC debut, had a small role on new Binge series Colin from Accounts, got some funding from Screen Australia to help my best friend Lozza Rozza realise her semi autobiographical series Rejecting Elle, about making chronic illness sexy, and made a new short film with many of my wonderful HE’S ISIS crew returning. Other than that, auditions have been few and far between, I’m assuming as a result of the pandemic, and despite giving them a red hot go when they do come along nothing has really stuck. Still my fingers are crossed that there’s something substantial waiting for me around the corner. I also recently talked to Emily McNight on her podcast, An Actor Survives, about some coping strategies, which you can listen to here:

When I found out I would be debuting at STC in Grand Horizons on the Roslyn Packer stage (their largest) I thought well there goes all that ease I found last year during Stop Girl. Fortunately after just two weeks of rehearsal and one week of tech I felt the nerves fade again – I’m even starting to feel like bigger theatres are less nerve racking than tiny ones, just in time for my small downstairs Belvoir show! Being supported by Director Jessica Arthur and actor buddy Guy Simon probably had something to do with it as well. Ironically the timing of the season was similar to last year’s Stop Girl as I was again stressfully hunting for a new place to live and I found myself so caught up in my life outside work that it actually took me a moment to realise I was standing on the Ros Packer stage during tech and what a monumental moment it was for me.

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Stepping into a remount to reprise a role previously performed by James Majoos was also very nerve wracking, especially given the rave reviews I had heard about their performance from the last season. But Jess, our director, told me we would start from scratch and not to bother watching the archival footage unless I really wanted to. Her confidence that I would find the character never wavered and by the end of the process I had put a completely different spin on it. When I finally watched the archival I thought, well I could never have played it this way even if I tried because this performer is nothing like me, not in their voice, their physicality or their choices and that was extremely freeing. For my scene partner, Guy, it meant he also had to adjust accordingly because of the completely new dynamic, and by doing so discovered new moments he hadn’t found the first time around.

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Ironically, despite having already done half their season I saw the other actors also struggling to recall exactly what they did in the last iteration of the show, and again they were given the freedom to make new choices (within the old blocking). And it worked. The show was a hit, again and I had the best time doing it.

BOOK HERE: Son of Byblos May 4th to 21st

How it felt making my Belvoir main stage debut post Covid

Anyone that knows me will know how much of a hustler I am. If it’s not happening already then I’ll make it happen. Or I’ll work towards a pathway that leads to a path that leads to a path that makes it happen. Which tbh is pretty exhausting. 

But Covid put a stop to all that. While other likeminded artists buckled up and are now reaping the rewards of their hard work I decided to turn inward and work on myself. Something I had neglected to do for too many years. 

Get ready for a dramatic blogalogue. 

Towards the end of 2018 I was getting ulcers in my mouth due to the stress and pressure I was putting on myself. I knew I was doing it and I couldn’t relax enough to make it stop. From Omar and Dawn on stage to The Secrets She Keeps for tv to Comedy of Errors at Riverside to shooting The Furnace in WA to flying to LA for manager meetings, all within a five month period. It was perhaps one of the most fulfilling times in my career so far but I was also dealing with ulcers growing in my throat before my major scenes on a film set (and having to literally drop my voice down by jumping on the spot before a scene because it hurt to speak).

I was in the middle of Everybody by Brandon Jacobs Jenkins at the KXT when Covid hit and put a stop to our season. It was a show where five main actors would learn all the parts and have their roles chosen by lottery every night (to reflect the randomness of death’s selection) and when our season closed prematurely I had yet to play the main role of “Everybody”. 72 pages of dialogue and I only ever got to do some of the supporting dialogue. But I guess that’s what fate had decided. The show itself was, unbeknownst to me at the time, actually the start of my road to self discovery. The main provocation of the piece was what do we take with us when we die? Not friendship, not family, not our possessions etc. Ironically the show was also based on a play written post the Black Plague pandemic. 

So I jumped straight into my car and drove home to Brisbane to be with my parents for 10 months. 

It was during this awful time in the world that I realised what I had worked so hard for couldn’t really comfort or help me now. People were worried about one thing, their health and their loved ones. And whilst my friends were living with their partners (and in some cases their young children), I was busy pulling down Holly Valance posters and packing away Pokémon cards, trying to update my room so it was liveable for a grown ass single man… who was again living with his parents.

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This pandemic could have ended life as we know it and so I asked myself if I would feel fulfilled if I died right now? And the answer was no. 

Sure I was feeling fulfilled artistically and when your career is your only focus then the chances of that happening are higher, but it’s much less sustainable for anyone that has a life outside of their career, and sadly that is what I was lacking. I had wonderful friendships but my biggest worry was always what was going to be my next job. 

Then came the depression. But what was so enlightening about that was realising just how incredibly happy I had felt my whole life and how lucky I had been all these years to be on such a natural high. But I wanted more. To realise the things that truly made me happy. To explore my relationships more deeply, to see nature, to pick up more hobbies and take time out for myself where I wasn’t always focussed on the next job or not going on holidays for fear of losing a job opportunity. 

When Covid hit, my first thought was that my career was over for at least two years, in which time I would lose any momentum I had worked so hard for. Dramatic much?

I was still depressed months later when I was offered a role in a feature film shooting on the Gold Coast. A Christmas romance movie set in the snow. With dogs. I mean if that can’t solve your depression. My good friend Ezekiel Simat was the leading man (a black model who was at one point asked if we were siblings even though our only similarity is our lack of Caucasian-ness but ILL TAKE IT) and my new gorgeous friend Georgia Flood was the leading lady, and I distinctly remember being in a scene where I was alone with my thoughts for a moment and Georgia very perceptively came over to me and said, “Are you okay? You suddenly looked so sad!” But I was able to shake it off and get back to work. Perhaps some of my greatest acting to date.

I was still depressed months later when I was offered a role in a feature film shooting on the Gold Coast. A Christmas romance movie set in the snow. With dogs. I mean if that can’t solve your depression. My good friend Ezekiel Simat was the leading man (a black model who was at one point asked if we were siblings even though our only similarity is our lack of Caucasian-ness but ILL TAKE IT) and my new gorgeous friend Georgia Flood was the leading lady, and I distinctly remember being in a scene where I was alone with my thoughts for a moment and Georgia came over and said, “Are you okay? You suddenly looked so sad!” But I was able to shake it off and get back to work. Perhaps some of my greatest acting to date. 

But the difference between this shoot and past shoots was that I was living my life outside the film as well. I was meeting new people, seeing new places (visiting a crap tonne of waterfalls according to my Instagram) and with that, combined with this job, I felt my mental health improving again. 

The auditions started again and life in Australia started to feel like a new normal. But I wasn’t getting hung up on the auditions results the way I used to. 

At the end of the year I was requested to audition for a Belvoir show. A new work called Stop Girl by Sally Sara. I was conflicted about returning to Sydney, wanting my new life in Brisbane to continue, but I did the tape and weeks later I had been asked to fly down for a table read with the creatives. I was also contacted by Outhouse Theatre Company for a development in the same week so it was a no brainer and I flew down (and nearly contracted Covid lol – I was in the middle of a Brisbane nightclub with 250 people when I got the NSW notification saying there had been an outbreak and that I needed to isolate immediately. Good times. Fortunately, I didn’t end up being a QLD super-spreader).

me just before I got the text

During the Stop Girl table read I felt completely calm. I don’t often get nervous in table reads but it was essentially a call back with the director, artistic director and famous writer so there should have been some tension but there wasn’t. Something had shifted in me. 

I was offered the role a couple of days later. And given how lovely it had been seeing my old Sydney friends, I accepted. 

Two months later I was at the first reading of the play at Belvoir, sitting next to my new soon to be besties Sheridan Harbridge, Amber McMahon, Toni Scanlan and Deb Galanos… and reading the play in front of what felt like the entire company and then some. Roughly 40 – 50 people. Simmer down Belvoir am I right? And again, not a worry in the world. 

Weeks later the company run came around, again to a full house of staff, and I kept asking myself when I was actually going to get nervous? 

It was opening night where I felt the sudden pang of panic but once I was on the stage it was gone again. 

I went onto that stage to 42 sold out audiences (and Belvoir’s third highest grossing show in the last decade even without an extended season *cough* unlike the top two) and it felt like I was just playing with my friends nearly every time. 

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There were days when personal stuff was happening off the stage and I would still manage to throw my phone, run onto the stage, hit my cue and no one would be the wiser. And even make new discoveries because of the freedom I was experiencing.

And I couldn’t help but feel like this was the guy I never was before and always wished I could have been. Someone with a rich life outside of their career, that was able to walk confidently into work, give it their best and get back to their life straight after. 

Gone were the original plans of living in LA by now and landing one of those big pilots or movies by a certain age, and instead just seeing where life takes me. 

I’m finally excited about the lack of predictability in my life and I’ve realised it doesn’t matter where I am in my career, all that matters is the present moment and how we live it. Because if we don’t live in the present then how do we experience life and happiness and grow as human beings? Oh and I also read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle during Covid. That helped too.

So what’s next? Well I just signed a lease for a new place in Sydney and I’ve been spending a lot of time getting free stuff off Facebook marketplace. But my audio series Golden Boy recently won the 2021 ScreenCraft Podcast Competition and so me and my creative team will probably head into the studio to record some episodes with our winnings from the competition. But other than that I guess I’ll just be Eckhart Tolling it.

How I Got Myself Cast In A Major Feature Film

I’ve always been a huge advocate for finding your own work. But it gets exhausting. And after the first few years out of drama school where I would find out about a project and contact my agent and see if they could get me an audition and then I wouldn’t get the audition anyway, most of the time, I kind of got over it. I discovered that it’s actually better to build relationships with the casting directors (obviously if you’re lucky enough to already be getting auditions but you can also sign up to their workshops whenever they’re on and make an impression that way) and have them call you in when something comes along that is right for you. However you need to stay consistently on their minds, which can also be difficult but is also the reason I’m a big advocate of self promotion on social media, you never know who knows someone that knows someone that has seen your post. Even though it can be painful, I know.

But in this particular instance my friend slash colleague Yingna Lu sent me a Screen Australia brief announcing pre-production on a feature film called The Furnace, about the Ghan cameleers of the late 1800s, and being a Ghan myself I thought I should look into this one.

So I contacted my agent, who fair enough, hadn’t heard anything about the project yet.

Next I contacted some filmmakers who could potentially know someone attached to the production. Amazingly, I came away with both the producer, Tim White and the director, Roderick MacKay’s emails.

I then took these to my agent, who again, couldn’t really do much with the information, and so I took matters into my own hands.

Firstly, I did what every normal person does when they search a new name… stalked their Instagram. I found the director and gave him a follow. But when he followed back I realised that I had maybe made a mistake. Ironically my Instagram reads a bit more Bondi hipster than it does 1800’s cameleer. Obviously not Bondi enough for Home and Away but maybe too Bondi for a period film about cameleers? No?

To compensate, I decided I would send the director an email. But first, I would need to shoot a photo of myself in traditional clothing to prove my “authenticity”. What I came up with was akin to those “Aussie” posters featuring famous period POC that you sometimes see around the city. Shout out to Michael Wood for taking this in his backyard.

Adelaide Monga Khan + Dorothy Sym Choon

I even shaved down to a seedy mo after the first photo. If that’s not commitment I don’t know what is.

I was then ready to send my email. Just a simple one saying forgive my forwardness but I saw a Screen Australia brief and wanted to introduce myself. And attached not only this picture and my CV but the small clip below of me speaking Dari from a short film where I was being a tortured Middle Eastern man – very original. I did not however attach my showreel which features mostly comedy… notably a clip of me singing a love song to a horse.

Trigger warning: physical violence and racial slurs

I’ve said this before but emailing head creatives is a huge way to get yourself shot in the foot if you’re not actually perfect for the role, so choose your moments wisely.

Fortunately, Roderick replied the next day saying he had forwarded my information to the producers and would be in touch.

After following up a month or so later Roderick told me he would be in Sydney soon and would like to get a coffee.

Weeks later the coffee turned into a meeting in the room with the casting director, Nicky Barrett, who actually hadn’t seen me for much in the past. The question for me was, would I have been seen anyway, given the role was so specific? Had I wasted all that time doing unnecessary chasing? Well another Afghan actor I know who’s in my age group was never even asked to audition, so perhaps the answer is no?

[Side note, I’ve also recently noticed a trend in CD’s and companies who want to diversify and demonstrate themselves searching far and wide with public briefs on Facebook, who aren’t even requesting to see the trained or established actors from that community first, which seems strange to me as I would assume the whole point is to give underprivileged performers opportunities they were yet to receive before the trend?]

I ended up being the very first person to audition for the film (before the official auditions) and I got to meet with the director and Georgia White, one of the producers. Oh and my friend Gary Clemenston was reading opposite me which was just the best.

So then what happened?

Nothing. No call back. No nothing.

Months had passed and there was no news. Over that time I booked the role of lead journo Jeremy Clay on the Channel 10 series The Secrets She Keeps, had the release of another SBS short film called Tribunal, where I played another Afghan character, and was playing a Lebanese character in critically acclaimed Kings Cross Theatre show Omar and Dawn, for which I was subsequently nominated for a Sydney Theatre Award for Best Supporting Actor.

I had my agent pass all of this information onto casting for me.

It’s when I had given up and genuinely moved on from the project that I had an avails check come through for the shoot dates, which happened to be around the same dates as The Secrets She Keeps. Nooo!

Another week later the offer finally came through and the clashing dates had been resolved.

Given my first audition was in the room with the director and producer I assume it had worked as my callback too.

And that’s the story of how I got myself cast in major feature film The Furnace, which comes out nationally across Australian cinema screens today (Dec 11).

How To Cope With Rejection (I Can’t)

The following all took place on the same day:

• A cast announcement was made for a new series featuring A-list Hollywood actors – for which I had been shortlisted for one of the leads.
• A new prime time television show was airing on tv – also for which I had been shortlisted for one of the leads.
• My Instagram feed was full of Aladdin promos – a movie which, admittedly I hadn’t been that close to scoring but for which I had done three rounds of auditions and had been contacted for another one by the Aussie Casting Director. And who knows what might have happened if I was in LA with a manager pushing for me (aka the right place at the right time).

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All on the. same. day.

Now this wasn’t the day I found out I hadn’t got these gigs. My agent had definitely called me soon after the final audition to tell me “this one didn’t go our way”.

And usually… at the time…

But the real zinger is when you start seeing it circulating all over your social media and even have people sending you articles and videos being like, “Hey isn’t this that show you nearly got?”

And I’m over here like…

So how do I cope? The answer is, I don’t. Not straight away.

Honestly. I have been trying for so long to figure out a way to cope with processing this sort of information and so far I have very little. I usually have to give myself the day and then sleep on it. And sometimes even that doesn’t work.

But after I throw myself a bit of a pity party I need to start thinking about the positives. These are usually pointed out by your friends, fam and agent (if you have good ones), and usually include and are not limited to:

• You were down to the finals, meaning you did good kid. The reason you didn’t get it probably had more to do with how you looked, or your age, or something else which was beyond your control.
• You’ve made a lasting impression on the Casting Director.
• It’s better to be this close than not close at all… or even getting auditions for that matter. This one is hard to accept but it’s very true and I’m very grateful.
• You may have dodged a bullet. The show could be awful. Your experience of working on that show might not have been good for you. Who knows?
• You have no idea what’s around the corner. You may have missed this because something better was on its way.

… and that’s all I’ve got.

Actually, I was mid breakdown with my theatre agent, Alex, recently over a potential clash and she told me to do like the Jordin Sparks song and just take it one step at a time… and even though it was clearly a joke… it’s been on loop ever since. Thanks Alex.

The major thing it brings me back to is the need to create your own content, not just because there simply isn’t enough work out there for us but because it helps you channel your energy in the right direction, giving you purpose and helping you grow as an artist.

I know this because on that same horrible day I was able to announce that my short film HE’S ISIS had got into West End Film Festival – a Brisbane festival in it’s 10th year that I’d always wanted to attend #hometownpride

Furthermore, I met a few Brisbane filmmakers who go by the name of Hired Goons at Freshflix last year, whom I saw again at the Gold Coast Film Festival (where HE’S ISIS won People’s Choice), who suggested we work together! And just last month I got to do exactly that whilst I was up in QLD for WEFF, and I can’t remember the last time I had that much fun on a set! Bunch of gems, the lot of them. You can check out some of their hilarious content here.

Again, a result of creating my own work and putting myself out there.

Here is also an interview I did with San and Connie at The Convo Couch which explores the process of creating your own work in a little more detail.

Fortunately, Aladdin has been out for a while now, and yes I did see it and yes I loved it – and I’m feeling fine… but actually.

Since then I’ve also opened a new Australian play titled, Omar and Dawn playing at the KXT July 12-27 (freakishly the exact same show dates as my last indie show Stupid Fucking Bird), Written by James Elazzi, Directed by Dino Dimitriades & Co-produced by Green Door Theatre co & Apocalypse Theatre.

The whole experience has been so beautiful and I am so very proud of the work we have created. We’ve sold out every show so far so please book fast if you’d like to come.

Full review by Suzy Goes See here. Image by Robert Catto.

Simultaneously, I’ve also been lucky enough to be shooting a few days as head journo Jeremy Clay, on the new Channel 10 series, The Secrets She Keeps, over the last few weeks. Exposing all of the secrets… she keeps.

And speaking of secrets… you should try and figure out what secret I’m keeping in the teaser of the SBS short that I was fortunate enough to shoot with a killer team (including my gorgeous friend Shideh) in Perth earlier this year titled, Tribunal. 

On reflection, sometimes we become so transfixed on a goal that we think it’s our last and only chance. That’s not to say that landing those amazing opportunities wouldn’t be great career launchers but there’s also merit in persevering and realising that just because we don’t get that big goal right away it doesn’t mean there won’t be an opportunity for another one ever again.

It’s the career I’ve chosen, and if I want to keep doing it I’m just gonna have to suck it up and hopefully get better at handling that rejection.

But if you have any tips I’d love to read them in the comments below 🙂

My first lead (white) male

When you see a list of the roles I’ve played on stage (both indie and professional) since graduating drama school I think you’ll find an interesting pattern.

Osama (Safety Switch)
Mousa (The Laden Table)
Alioune (Belleville)
Sami/Tariq (Where The Streets Had A Name)
Toufic (Beirut Adrenaline)
Refugee (Postcards From The Wire)
Surgeon (Visiting Hours) – While I was rehearsing for this one, our wonderful director John Harrison said, “Now if you’re ever on a plane and they say is there a surgeon on board, you can respond, no but I played one once!” To which I responded, “Do you think I should mention that I’ve also played a terrorist?” *silence*
Officer #1 (Hassan Is Dead)
Myself (White Rabbit Red Rabbit) – Technically colourblind. For the record, I’ve found KXT to be the most genuine advocates of colourblind casting of any Sydney theatre company.
Jimmy (Daisy Moon Was Born This Way) – This, I’ll admit, doesn’t fit on the list very well. Funny story! During this show late last year, I made friends with another Mansoor on Instagram who took me to a Drake concert for free because he had a spare ticket (and let me keep both my kidneys) and his nickname was, you won’t believe it, “Jimmy”. Yes I definitely considered the need for a restraining order. But no, it’s a very white boy name and it was actually my first supporting colourblind role thanks to Nick Atkins at The Joan.

This isn’t to say I haven’t loved playing each and every one of these roles… but you get the picture.

Earlier this year I had my first Sydney Theatre Company audition outside of a general (apparently they’d seen me in one of my dozen Middle Eastern roles – it was KXT’s The Laden Table) for one of the most well known directors in the country. And they were interested in auditioning me for the role of… you guessed it, Mandeep (who was about ten years too old for me). Still, as always I appreciated the opportunity to be seen and they were very kind during the process.

Another funny story! I once auditioned for a character called Manish, and half way through the Casting Director started referring to the character as Mansoor (he too was an angsty guy). It was their first time auditioning me, so it’s okay.

Now let me ask you this? How many times would you say you’ve seen a Chekhov play with a person of colour as the main lead? Yeah I can’t think of any either, at least off the top of my head. However that is the opportunity I’ve currently been given and I’m so very grateful for it. It’s not Chekhov per se but a very recent adaptation of his play The Seagull called Stupid Fucking Bird which is having it’s Sydney Premiere under Director Warwick Doddrell at the New Theatre (July 13-28), and from a quick browse online it looks like I still might be the first person of colour in the lead for this production. Can you imagine that? Can you actually, actually imagine that? And look, I’m obviously being dramatic to make a point, it’s not possible that there wouldn’t be a few (Chiewotel Ejiofar – an Oscar winner – was in The Seagull at the Royal for example) but the point is that it’s so extremely rare. Furthermore, to our credit, Nina is being played by Megan Smart, another person of colour.

All I kept thinking was #seagullsowhite which as I type this now I realise is more of a fact than something which is going to trend for calling out all-white casting… but it got me wondering, why is that?

Some might argue that a lot of Chekhov plays or even “classic” texts revolve around families, and for the record, in this latest production my mother and uncle are both being played by (wonderful) anglo actors – admittedly the lack of a father character makes it an easier jump in logic (not that it should actually matter in this day and age), but there are also many other characters who aren’t related to the main family – all of the others in fact. My love interest, our chef (who’s in love with me… sorry, my character – poor Annie Stafford loves that one), my best friend, and my mother’s boyfriend could all be played by absolutely anybody… so what do you think you’ll see in the latest film adaptation coming out this year? Have a look for yourself.

I mean as if you’d have that when you can have this…

I spent way more time on this than I’m willing to admit but Annie Stafford basically forced my hand.

Seriously though, I believe this is a result of imaginary rules we’ve created over time (due to privilege – a much longer conversation) which have conditioned us to believe that if we are putting on a Russian (classic or adaptation) play then all of us must appear to be as close to what we classify as “typically” Russian (white)… even though we are speaking an entirely different language, in an entirely different country, with entirely different accents.

Suffice it to say I think it’s about time we ditched this silly “tradition” (and there has been notable progress with Sport For Jove’s and also Sydney Theatre Company’s Three Sisters to name a couple) and I’m pretty excited to be apart of something that does exactly that. My character Conrad (Konstantin) rants about needing “new kinds of theatre, new forms” and it’s a credit to our Director Warwick Doddrell for picking up on it and attempting to do exactly that, not just with casting but with his unconventional and exhilarating vision for the show which also includes choreography by Suzuki pro Shy Magsalin (who just finished up directing WYRD at PACT). Trust me when I say you’ve never seen the New Theatre like this before. It’s gonna be caRrAazZy.

As a result, the whole process has been an absolute dream come true for me and has been so much fun, which I’m sure also has a lot do with the awesome cast and creatives… and Annie Stafford doting on me the whole time.

Whilst I certainly love and even strive to tell Middle Eastern stories I’ve found the opportunity to play a character who is a product of his culture and not a representative of his culture or having to tell a story based specifically on his culture so refreshing and rewarding. Please come see it! We play for three short weeks.

To book tickets follow this link: https://newtheatre.org.au/stupid-fucking-bird/

Early Bird ticket code is SEAGULL and can be applied for Fri-Sun performances if booked before July 12.

DATES/TIMES

Preview (12 July) 7:30pm
Wednesday – Saturday 7:30pm
Sunday 5pm
Saturday 28 July 2pm only

TICKETS

Full $35
Concessions, Groups (6+) $30
Preview, Thrifty Thursdays $20

Rehearsals pics by http://www.instagram.com/_cwale

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Everything that could go wrong when making a short film in 7 days.

In November last year, whilst on a long train ride to rehearsals at The Joan for a show called ‘Daisy Moon Was  Born This Way’ I was inspired to write a short. It was about an actor called Omar who was on his first film set playing a terrorist, when an actual ISIS terrorist takes over the set and no one can tell them apart… because they’re racist. This was in no way inspired by the show I was doing at the time but by a film I had done years prior where I’d been asked to play “rebel forces” with no script available and possible lines on the day. Rebel forces was code for generic terrorist who shoots some Americans. They had also asked me to bring any actor friends I might have to play my terrorist posse – which ended up consisting of a South African, an Armenian and an Australian-Egyptian. Same, same right?

I knew Tropfest was coming up and two months seemed like a reasonable amount of time to make a short film. But in traditional Mansoor form I left production to the last possible minute… which was 7 days before the deadline… and the day after New Years. Hot tip, nowhere is open during New Years. Except the cinemas. Where I casually work. Not helpful. 

But first. In early December I had contacted Silk Studios in Chatswood about booking their space and they said it was fully available. I had previously worked on a short series which had been shot there titled ‘The Breach’ (Season 2 coming soon) and had basically written the short with the layout and set in mind. 

Click here to watch Season 1

I scouted the space and eventually confirmed the 2nd of January. The quote I had been given was $3600 per day (NOT INCLUDING GST WTF) which seemed steep but I was willing to pay it if that’s what it had to be for the perfect location. But that didn’t mean I didn’t ask if there was anything we could do for a discount (like shooting after hours), which turned out to be my biggest mistake! As soon as old mate (who forget who I was every time I called) discovered that we weren’t a professional company he became considerably less helpful, eventually coming back and saying that on reassessment they wouldn’t have any staff that could let us into the space until well into mid January. I responded saying I was of course willing to pay full price and that we didn’t need any help once we were inside but apparently it just wasn’t possible. A friend suggested I pretend I was a semi-professional production house who had already scheduled an entire crew but I’d already blown that option by saying we were a small indie production with limited funds. This is basically just a rant about how you shouldn’t use Silk Studios because I’m petty like that. 

This was my first major set back. I now not only had to find a new location on extremely short notice but I also needed a Designer and for them to create an entire variety tv show set. I went back to the script so many times trying to find a solution for the location but no matter what I did it wouldn’t make sense. If it wasn’t on a professional looking news set then the actual terrorist wouldn’t be justified in thinking he was on live television news and if we weren’t in a contained space the characters would simply run.

By the time I got this news I’d already booked flights to QLD for the Christmas holidays so I had to leave the state, making things considerably more difficult. I then hit up all of the designers in my Sydney circles to see if anyone would have access to anything close to a variety film set. No one did. I tried finding the old set for The Roast on ABC but not only did that no longer exist but even the location studio was unavailable. I even found the perfect studio for FREE in Brisbane but I’d already committed the cast/crew in Sydney. So I started looking for a green screen studio where I could put in a shitty desk with the illusion that the studio was CGI’d on the actual tv. I found one… but it was nauseating.  

I’d found two possible locations but had no designer to scout them. Thanks to Yingna Lu I was put in touch with Mohini Herse who was only available one day but was kind enough to do breakdowns for both locations which was extremely helpful but still left me kind of in the same spot. 

It was all getting too hard and I was ready to throw in the towel. So I rang my faithful DOP Emma Elias and AD Alexei Toliopoulos who were still so excited and optimistic. The turning point was Emma telling me to “Just stick with it. We just need to get to production day and the minute you walk onto set everything will fall into place.” It was true, I had experienced this once or twice before but their belief in me was what got me through at this point. 

The next day I was lucky to confirm the talented Irma Calabrese, who had literally built the interior of a chopper from scratch on a sci-fi I had acted in last year titled ‘Risen’. Conditions were that since it was unpaid that I would do all of the manual labour such as purchasing and transferring furniture/props for the shoot and that she was only required for one scout day and production day bump in/out. These weren’t her conditions, they were mine, I loathe asking people to do free work. 

I flew back to Sydney Dec 28. We did a final scout of Props Studios in Marrickville and locked in the shoot for Jan 2nd. 

Here’s a film hack free of charge (as was our furniture). We basically purchased everything we needed from IKEA, which was conveniently around the corner from the space and has a 365 day return policy. I purchased and returned within four days over the New Years break and had a detailed back story about my nightmare of a boss who asked me to design their office foyer but hates me so they made me take it all back because they didn’t like it. Possibly my best performance to date. Irma said the last time she was asked why she was returning 15 park benches she responded (in a deadpan yet sassy European tone) “Don’t like them”. And that was it, it was that simple. 

I then had to find legitimate news cameras as props (which would have come with Silk Studios) but everywhere was closed until our shoot day! So I went online and found Ashley Scott on a Facebook equipment page, who had exactly what I needed… for $500 each. Whyyyyyyy?! So I explained my situation and asked what I could get for $100? And being the awesome dude that he is he said I could just have them for $100… TOTAL. I absolutely could not believe it. 

Everything was falling into place. Except for one major piece. I had lost the actor playing the Director due to scheduling conflicts. For the amount of 40-50 year old white men that complain about their roles being taken because of diversity there was a severe lack of them available on January 2nd. Two days out from the shoot I asked my friend Matthew Cheetham for some suggestions and he came back with the accomplished Andrew Henry. Duh. He was nowhere near as old as the director I had based his character on which is why he’d slipped my mind but he was an actual director. I contacted him and he accepted almost straight away. What a legend. 

Lauren Rowe “MUA”, Cecilia Morrow “1st AD” and Andrew Henry “Director” watching my performance as “Omar”. Photograph: Patrick Coe.

Emma had been right, before we knew it we were on set and it looked like we were actually going to be okay… until I got a message saying the cast member playing the armorer had a death in the family that morning, which was awful. Fortunately our Gaffer Lucca Barone-Peters was happy to make his acting debut as our young hipster Armorer.

Other than that, thanks to an incredible team the day went absolutely swimmingly. We shot 8 pages in less than 8 hours not including bump in/out. It had all paid off, even my typing the word ISIS multiples times a day on messenger/emails or Googling searches like, “How do I transport a fake AK from Brisbane to Sydney” or “What do ISIS wear?”… while I was at the airport even.

Some of the best cast/crew ever. Photograph: Patrick Coe.

Then it was time for POST-PRODUCTION. And if you thought it was easy sailing from here then you are severely mistaken my friend.

I had secured Oliver Trauth-Goik who is an awesome in house editor at Paper Moose through recommendation from both Steve Anthopolous and Yingna Lu. He literally picked up the footage and sent me one of the best assemblies I had ever seen less than 12 hours later.

But while Oli was nailing the edit I had the Sydney Sound Designer (who had worked on Hacksaw Ridge – talk about jackpot!) basically stop responding to my messages… (oh). It turned out they had personal issues they were dealing with and let’s not forget I was asking them to work for free or minimal cost. But at this point I had learnt that there’s always a solution. Eventually I was led to Michael Angelo Monaco in Brisbane, through a recommendation from my friend Shane Anderson.

Being a low budget production (and being kicked out of Silk Studios… yeah I’m clearly not letting that go anytime soon) had resulted in the new studio and props costing me just under $2000 (post sneaky IKEA refund) and it actually looked way more original and dynamic due to the awesome set Irma had designed (in like an hour and a half). 

Me, Emma Elias on real camera while Chantel Leseberg “Sophia” is being held up by Firdaws Adelpour “ISIS”. Photograph: Patrick Coe.

Unfortunately, being low budget had also meant we had lots of sound issues. They always say don’t take risks when it comes to sound… but I’m a risky guy… apparently. Remember when I was googling ISIS outfits at the airport? “Oh… I meant ASOS… silly me!” I had a soundie and even an assistant but low resources meant not everyone’s audio was always clear. 

I went into Paper Moose to finalise the edit with Oli three days later and then it was off to Michael for Sound, my good friend Dale Norton who is a VFX genius in Brisbane, Colourist Christopher Kakoliris who I had found on a Facebook crew page and who was simultaneously editing four other projects, and our Composer Jamie Murgatroyd in WA who had worked on a feature I had co-produced titled ‘500 Miles’. Thank God for wetransfer.com, hey.

Yay! We’re nearly there!

It turned out Jamie had gotten severely sick the day he was meant to lay down the track, which was also the day before it was due, for which he’d already done all of his prep.

In came Steve Anthopoulis to the rescue with the suggestion of Asher Pope in Melbourne. I called Asher and he was on board before he had even seen it… since I didn’t really give him time… since there wasn’t any.

While I was at rehearsals that night for ‘Visiting Hours’ at Kings Cross Theatre I had received half of the composition from Asher but also had Jamie who was feeling a lot better come back to me with his own. Both of these generous artists were working free of charge btw. Somehow by the end of the night I had two very different but equally fitting scores for my film. How did I go from zero scores to two?! Sadly, I could only pick one and although I had directed both of them to be as racially insensitive as possible with their scores (in order to emphasise exactly what these stereotypical films do), it was Asher’s which was superior in racism… although he didn’t seem to think that was a compliment? (And I’ll most definitely be using Jamie’s for something else!)

I had also been over to our colourist’s house twice to give notes and while he was obviously very gifted we didn’t really have the time to refine the look, meaning I was never really happy with the final product. We’d actually chosen to shoot the film in V-Log (raw) and while it gives the colourist more control it requires so much more work to get it looking consistent. This was probably my greatest regret with the film. More recently I had Ramon Samson generously offer to re-do the grade with me at AFTRS while I had more time, and six passes later I think the film is looking pretty great. 

Before & After Colour

So that was it. We submitted a whole twenty hours earlier than the deadline as I’d been told the server would inevitably crash. And it did. But we were done. 

And that was probably one of the most stressful weeks of my life. And the weird part was that once it was over I kind of missed it. I had gotten so used to calling and emailing people at every part of the day that my life kind of felt empty without. I’d also however developed a habit of clenching my jaw and not being able to remember what it felt like unclenched… so I guess… you win some, you lose some.

Official Poster

Weeks later the results were finally in!! We didn’t get into Tropfest. However the feeling of having made a movie from scratch in 7 days was pretty damn satisfying, and would not have been possible without every single person that helped along the way, so thank you all.  

But the story doesn’t end there. I’m thrilled to announce that ‘HE’S ISIS’ will have it’s Australian film festival premiere at Freshflix Fest as part of Vivid on May 26 on top of the Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney. So grab a ticket and come say hi.

Click here to watch our Behind The Scenes video courtesy of Nooria TV

‘HE’S ISIS’ stills courtesy of Patrick Coe (https://www.instagram.com/patrick.coe/)

ONE MAN-SOOR SHOW

Whilst in rehearsals for ‘The Laden Table’ at KXT last year I was contacted by Director Suzanne Millar and asked if I would be interested in performing in a show titled ‘White Rabbit, Red Rabbit’. I asked her what it was but all of the information she could give me was that the show was being Produced by Freefall Productions and had been Written by an Iranian writer called Nassim Soleimanpour… and that was it. I wasn’t allowed to know anything about the play and was forbidden to Google it.

So I resisted. And I resisted a little more. But after three whole minutes I couldn’t take it any more and I finally Googled it. But all of the information I was seeing kept telling me that the performer was not supposed to know anything about the show until they were literally on the stage facing their audience, so I stopped.

The idea of this terrified me. In fact one of my biggest fears had always been doing a one man show and having the pressure of holding an entire audience’s attention completely on my own… despite what my fam and friends will tell you about me.

But as terrified as I was at the thought of doing it I knew that not doing it would be so much worse. I pictured myself seeing someone else doing the show and forever kicking myself for saying no to such an incredibly unique experience. I mean, how bad could it be? Worst case scenario I would just sit and read exactly what was on the page… and have people say how lame my performance was for the rest of my career. But this was something only around 1000 actors around the world had experienced. So of course I said yes.

Easiest rehearsal period ever btw. I basically spent a couple of days cold reading memoirs such as ‘Gone Girl’ and Kunal Nayyar’s ‘Yes, My Accent Is Real’ to get a feel for what I might have to do on stage. ‘Gone Girl’ is a memoir, right?

The night before the show I was given some secret instructions which included the preparation of a particular (redacted) that I would at some point need to perform on stage and other crucial information such as speak loudly and pause when you see an ellipsis. The author had also explicitly said that I could break from the script whenever I felt the need (which I did btw at a particular point and gave audience members a chance to leave, which apparently no one else had done) but must make it clear that I was speaking on behalf of myself. Oh and when I started, I had to finish.

After probably the fastest 24 hour period of my life I was waiting to go on stage, hearing the audience in the foyer and absolutely sh*tting myself. What had I done? What was I going to do? But first, let me take a selfie.

Finally, the phenomenal Monica Sayers who had been the previous night’s performer gave me a supportive hug backstage and told me “I know exactly what you’re going through but it’s going to be okay once you get out there.” I was handed (redacted) by the Producer of the show Derek Walker and introduced to the stage where Monica handed me an envelope with the play inside it.

After walking onto the stage and thanking my close friends and family for the warm welcome and telling the strangers it was okay that they didn’t cheer, I took about five minutes to open the envelope. I feel like part of the instructions should have been “practice opening a difficult envelope whilst trembling violently.” Thanks a lot Nassim. 

Once opened, it began. And after a brief intro from the author (me) being read by you the performer (me) I was thrown straight into the action. Although I had been extremely anxious it became easier with every moment I was out there… because who has time to be nervous when you’re focussing so hard on proving to the audience that you can actually read. I just had to react to what I was reading, as I read it, and if that got a reaction from the audience then I’d succeeded.

Highlights from my show were somebody’s Siri going off at probably the most poignant moment in the play where you would have otherwise heard a pin drop but instead heard Siri’s delightful voice exclaiming, “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” And also another moment where I had been told to point to a random audience member to ask them for a small item I could use as a (redacted) and I just happened to point to an injured man who had nothing but a massive walking crutch. Two very hilarious moments that would never be recreated.

I can’t really say much more about the experience without ruining it for future Googlers and/or first time audiences, other than I had so much fun doing this show and am so grateful to the generous audience who went along the ride with me. It was the ultimate lesson in being in the moment and also listening to your audience and I feel so lucky to be one of the few who got to do it.

How I got Screen Australia funding

I ended my last post saying I had no idea what the second year of being a graduate would entail. And the fact that it’s taken me a year to write my next post should be a pretty good indicator for just how crazy it has been. I actually started writing this post 6 months ago when I wasn’t feeling as optimistic but never finished it before things started turning around. So I’ve actually copied and pasted most of the following to give you an indicator of how I was feeling at the time.

The post began;

I think I graduated Drama School with a very clear vision of what I wanted to achieve. I set goals in mind with the intention of ticking them off within the year, and sure enough I scored myself a bit part here and there and even a minor series regular. I also worked on some theatre in it’s developmental stages and continued to develop my feature film, which had been optioned at the time. This year however I decided to take my foot off the accelerator. I thought, why don’t I stop and smell the roses, it doesn’t need to happen overnight, and I’m not sure whether that’s the reason things slowed down or if it’s just a lack of opportunity, or a combination of both?

Six months later I haven’t had a single drama audition for TV other than a few pilot auditions at the start of the year, and when you compare that to the at least one drama audition a month I was getting last year, you start to get worried. I did however get in front of more theatre companies with general auditions for Griffin Theatre, Sydney Theatre Company and also Queensland Theatre Company and La Boite (in my crib). These were all at the start of the year, which I always find so strange because that’s when they usually announce the season for the coming year (mostly complete with casts) but anyway I was super grateful that I got to meet them all.

My feature film, “The Arrangement” appeared to be on standby due to our attached executive seeking funds, and I continued to develop my webseries “Mustafa Needs a Wife” with co-creator Steve Anthopoulos.

I got my first bit of acting work when I was cast as the French Lebanese Alioune in “Belleville” at the Old Fitz during April/May. Click below to read a fun little interview I did for it with my onstage (and sadly, only) sassy wife Amina played effortlessly by Chantelle Jamieson. I’m not gonna lie, one night I was so petrified by her stare that I walked through onstage vomit.

I had to learn a little bit of dialogue in French and I also had to do a French accent… which I thought was going to be a breeze because the Middle Eastern accent is similar (in rhoticity for example) however that was actually what made it more difficult, I now go to French as my go to accent when I’m trying to do Middle Eastern. Problematic considering where the bulk of my work currently lies, as Linda Nichols Gidley (my accent coach) had pointed out. 

And speaking of Middle Eastern roles, I found out that they were casting Firass Dirani’s brother in “House Husbands”. The role I’ve literally been talking about for the last four years but thought would never happen. But when my agent contacted the casting director they said, “he doesn’t look young enough, we are looking for someone around 20”. I couldn’t even get a self test, so I decided to write a script myself and send it in but I had to wait until I was done on “Project Eden” for beard purposes, at which point they would have already found their guy. But I still wanted to prove a point. Because I’m stubborn like that. So here. 

That’s probably the most disheartening experience I’d had this year. On top of the lack of auditions for content in general it’s frustrating when there are culturally specific roles of substantial sizing that I can’t even get auditions for. And they’re not even really the types of roles I want to play! Of course, I’d love to tell cultural stories but I would prefer them to be of substance. What I wouldn’t give for a colourblind casting, I thought.

And this is where the original post ends.

After that it was time for the second block of shooting for indie feature “Project Eden”, this time in Auckland, New Zealand! And boy was it a fun shoot. I not only got to see my beloved Minnesota friends from block one but I also got to reconnect with old friend and actress Anna McGahan, whom if you’d told that we’d be acting together in a feature film in New Zealand back when I was but a young lass at film school in Brisbane, and she was acting in our short films while in her first year of Psychology at uni, we would have looked at you like you’d just said Donald Trump will be the future American president. 

Paul O’Brian, Peter Christian Hansen, Mike Dopud (White Chicks), Me, Anna

But then two weeks after getting back to Sydney, it was back to New Zealand, this time Wellington for the “Armageddon Expo” Sci-Fi convention also for “Project Eden”, where we shared a green room with Ted Raimi (Sam Raimi’s brother), Robert Picaddo (whom when I asked what he’d been up to lately casually mentioned that he’d just finished a film starring opposite J.K Simmons and Susan Sarandon) and Natalia Tena (Tonks from Harry Potter and GoT). I also got to sit on the panel with possibly one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met, Cliff Simon (who played Baal in Stargate). This guy was a lead dancer in the Moulin Rouge (you can get his memoir here) and played the biggest badass you’ve ever seen on screen.

Don’t be fooled by the picture, nobody except the crew laughed at my jokes…

It was after not being able to get a “House Husbands” audition (or any other tv audition) that I started considering moving back to Brisbane, for the first time since I finished drama school. I’d spoken to a few actors about living interstate and they’d all said the same thing, most of them just flew down for auditions and with the savings you make with Brisbane rent, the flight doesn’t even make a dint in your budget. It also meant I could focus on getting “The Arrangement” off the ground while I was up there.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the right thing to do. However it felt like I was taking a major step back, a step towards giving up/changing my focus. I was a strong believer in being where the work was so as not to miss any opportunities that might come from being at the right place at the right time but that hadn’t happened for so long. Perhaps I’d get a full time job in Brisbane somewhere, put away some cash… maybe even buy an investment property like a real boy! All very limiting things to do when pursuing a career in the arts mind you. 

But then… just as I had convinced myself that it was the right thing to do I got the bit of news that would change everything. Steve Anthopoulos and I (along with our wonderful producer Yingna Lu and co-writer Luke Davidson) had entered “Mustafa Needs a Wife” into the ABC Long Story Short initiative with Screen Australia, and while we thought we were smarter than to let ourselves get our hopes up… it turns out, we got it!? We got Screen Australia funding and distribution via ABC iView! And you know what? For a long time we were waiting for them to take it away… but it’s been announced now so jokes on them.

Getting Screen Australia funding is no easy feat. In fact I only know one other person that has ever received it and her web series first garnered over 17 millions views on youtube. The initiative itself had nearly 300 applicants and from them they chose 5. So why us and why now? [Here’s the answer to that click bait] Well it’s a number of things, our individual strengths and experience within the industry, a concept that is both an original twist and relevant, timing, and of course luck. Our series titled “Mustafa Needs a Wife” was submitted maybe two or three weeks before Waleed Aly’s “Moustafa” speech at the Logies, which highlighted the lack of diversity in our industry and with Mustafa we hope to not only increase opportunities for actors of diverse backgrounds but tell stories that represent the other portion of our society.

Shortly after that bombshell I scored the part of Toufic in the new Belvoir Downstairs show titled “Beirut Adrenaline” in July/August. And this was one of those culturally specific roles of substance I was talking about earlier. We had such a huge demographic of Lebanese and Middle Eastern families coming to see the show (who wouldn’t necessarily otherwise see theatre) and there were even a couple of instances where people had brought their grandparents who had not seen any theatre since they had left Lebanon, and it was the most satisfying feeling to see their smiles and tear filled eyes after the show, despite the somewhat traumatic subject matter.

Since that show I’ve had at least 5 offers/auditions for similar Middle Eastern characters for the stage and had even been given auditions and even a direct offer for a few bit parts on a TV show for a stereotypical character of Arab descent, which I did not ultimately do. I love this casting director and they see me for more than just type castings but if I can avoid playing stereotypes and score larger roles of substance, that would also be great. Again I thought, what I wouldn’t give for a truly colourblind casting.

That’s when I got an email from my agent about exactly that, a colourblind casting for a Melbourne based production of a teen sci-fi called “Trip for Biscuits” that had recently lost one of it’s leads from the pilot due to schedule conflicts and, having heard about me through the ABC (a great example of being at the right place at the right time and as a result of creating your own work), were interested in seeing a self-tape. It was at the same time that I got an audition for a lead Persian character in a feature film, for which the shoot would conflict, but I already knew which one I would take if I had the choice.

Having watched the pilot “Trip for Biscuits” I couldn’t help but notice that the actor I would be replacing was a white male with a blue eyed, blonde niece (who was returning for the series). I had two thoughts. The hopeful part of me was excited to show them what I could with a colourblind character, while my experienced side kept telling me not to get my hopes up as they’d probably want to cast an uncle that looked like the niece.

TFB Self Test

So much to my dismay, I didn’t get a callback for the Persian drug dealer (that’s sarcasm btw) but I did get a callback for the Sci-Fi. For the last two years I had been auditioning for characters that were nothing like me. I was doing competent auditions but both the CD’s and I knew that I wasn’t right for the roles. I always left the auditions feeling as though I wasn’t good enough but when I got the call back for the Sci-Fi where I was playing a neurotic young businessman who had no business skills whatsoever other than to lie, panic and barter, probably closer to who I am then let’s say a terrorist or thug, I realised that maybe that feeling was was less my fault, and more about the roles I was getting auditioned for. Still, it’s my responsibility as an actor to try and fit into any mould I am given and make it work. 

TFB Call Back (which I was given for a reference point)

So when my agent called after the call back in Melbourne and said I’d got it, I couldn’t believe it. When I asked the fairly young director and producer of the series (by industry standards) how they would justify the relationship between uncle and niece looking nothing alike they simply answered, through marriage. Furthermore they didn’t even feel the need to address it in the series. That’s how it was, let the audience figure it out. So I moved to Melbourne for 7 weeks and had such a great time that not even the terrible weather could ruin the fantastic experience I had working on this show. You can catch “Trip for Biscuits” early next year on ABCme and iView.

It was on this shoot that I met the ever so wise and effervescent Charlotte Nicdao, who invited me to check out LA with her after the shoot. When I spoke to my agent about this move we decided it might be too early to play the LA game with “Trip For Biscuits” and “Mustafa Needs a Wife” being my strongest comedy material and it yet to be released. Never the less it seemed like a fun idea to check out the place I would no doubt be spending a lot of time in, in the coming years. Ezekiel Simat, another friend and actor was also doing a trip at pretty much exactly the same time and I thought what better way to get to know LA than with these crazy kids.

Highlights from this trip include seeing a surprise performance by The Backstreet Boys at a Bruno Mars and Ariana Grande concert (also featuring Mr. 505 Pitbull, Meaghan “NO” Trainer and One Republic) which I was willing to attend by myself, except that the website wouldn’t sell me a single/solo ticket, at which point Charlotte informed me that it was because, and I quote, “…it was sad.” We also went to an underground nightclub which we entered through a vending machine and were t-boned by a drunk driver, whilst taking our first ever Lyft ride home (like Uber). 5 Stars. Fortunately we all came away from it unscathed.

I also had a couple of introductory meetings with important peeps and got to meet a lot of Aussie tv alum. In fact I don’t remember meeting many people that weren’t Aussie. What I found interesting about those experiences were that it felt like there was quite a supportive Aussie actor community in LA. Everyone wanted the best for each other. I guess this may have been due to the overwhelming size of the place and the need to band together as a smaller group of underdogs. I have to say that before this trip I could never imagine making the move to LA and although I was only there for a few weeks, the idea no longer seemed so foreign. The actors I met were all on their unique and individual journeys and had managed to make ends meet, despite the atrocious wage and cost of living. In saying that, there was a huge part of me that felt like if I could become a big fish and secure myself consistent work in Australia that perhaps that’s what I would want instead, rather than starting all over again in an even bigger city. But, who knows what the future might hold.

Typically, while I was in LA I missed an opportunity to audition (as I do every time I’m either out of the state or country) for a reputable theatre company, for a role that wasn’t entirely culturally specific but benefited from having a person of colour, and this theatre company is quite ahead when it comes to it’s diverse casting already. I loved the play and was lucky that they accepted my self test which lead to a call back when I arrived home. The call back probably went as well as a call back could go but sadly, as my agent puts it, this one didn’t go our way. Which was a good reminder that not all great auditions always mean booking the role and that you should never get too cocky.

When I got back I also got to work on short film “The Satan and His Cat”, for which I had to learn 5 pages of Farsi, which admittedly is similar to Dari but as I quickly learnt, not the same… making me realise I probably should start pulling back on those white lies… even though I technically got there in the end. 

And finally, I finished the year doing developments/produced readings for two shows that I will be doing in 2017. The first was “The Laden Table” at KXT in which I played a star crossed lover, followed by “Where The Streets Had A Name” for Monkey Baa theatre. Both are going to be rippers. 

So, I’m not sure I need to say much more other than… Trump is President… meaning literally nothing is impossible. The main lesson I’ve learned from the last 12 months is, don’t let a bad start to the year or an extended quiet period make you want to stop trying. And also, create your own work. This is the age to do it and you never know where it might take you.

The Callback That Nearly Changed My Life

No, this isn’t me. But it is about the size/setup of most casting rooms.

This last year was my first year out of drama school which, as I’ve previously mentioned, is the most important year because it’s the only time you get to say, “I just graduated!” and start making those wonderful (sometimes not so great) impressions. Fortunately, I had a pretty good run. And just when I thought nothing could be more challenging than trying to figure out what to do with my first year out of drama school I realised, I hadn’t even thought about what I was meant to do with my second year!?

So what did I learn?

1. Be proud of your nationality (who you are). There’s no need to hide it. I’m never going to get a role unless I look the part anyway so there’s no harm in telling them I’m Afghan and being proud of it. But you could always tell a little white lie about your language skills here and there… hypothetically.
   A reputable (Middle Eastern) film director actually suggested that I change my name at the end of Drama School. That’s right, Nolan Morris (a nearly anagram), Roman Noor and Taylor Monsour were all on the table. The point was to neutralise my name so as to get me into more rooms in the US (eventually) but what I found myself doing was going for names that were just as unique and obscure as my own, defeating the purpose.
   In the end, I realised I’d have to change the title of my blog which just wasn’t going to happen… and everyone really despised all the other options. I also discovered that Mansoor actually means the one who is victorious.
2. Getting older isn’t so bad. I complain a lot about looking less and less like a newborn foetus but all of the roles I played this year would not have been an option for me five years ago.
3. Never fear! Let go. In every situation. Fear will only cripple you, so why let it? Do your work and see what happens. I feel like while drama school equipped me with a crap load of amazing extra tools it also made me a very “prepared” actor and every actor deals with that differently after graduating. Before drama school I would learn my lines, go to rehearsals and then I would rock up to the venue on performance day and just throw myself into the scene. During Drama School we were constantly doing line runs before shows and making sure we were always word perfect, which obviously has it’s pros and cons. However it has taken me about a year to let go of that, in particular for screen, where being word perfect is not always necessary. I was in a Les Chantery class a few months ago, where I had learnt my lines a day prior and when Les asked if I wanted a line run I declined because I wanted to see what happened, and as a result I experienced absolute freedom in the work. The lines poured out quite easily and I didn’t feel the pressure that I sometimes put on myself to make sure I got them right. I did blunder once but I think it’s forgivable.
   
   On a similar note, I finally achieved the goal I had set myself in one of my first blogs about nailing it on the first take, and more importantly nailing the first moment with the casting director. Did you know you can be yourself even when you’re doing your ident to camera!? Apparently… that’s the point. I did one recently and the casting director said, “Okay, let’s go for it and just keep doing that!” Let’s not talk about my second take though… where I tried to give them the exact opposite by acting… confused, proving Joseph Uchitel (one of my old acting teachers) wrong once again. Apparently I can “act” confused.
4. Be appreciative of the progress you’ve made. Five years ago I sent a self test to Anousha Zarkesh for Tomorrow, When the War Began, knowing entirely that I was wrong for the (Asian) character but wanting to see if it opened any doors with the casting director, despite the crippling fear the idea of actually ending up in her casting room created for me. Five years later Anousha Zarkesh has cast me in a recurring TV role on Cleverman and even more recently the role of Dr. Singh on the 4th Season of Rake, and I actually feel so comfortable on her casting couch, which I certainly could not have foreseen back then!
5. Always look out for #1. My sole focus this last year was acting, to the point where I really didn’t think about anything else, which can be difficult when opportunities are so few and far between. Sure, I might feel good about my progress so far but I certainly am not in a financial state to do anything other than pay my bills and eat, and see no sign of a romantic relationship on the horizon (which if you speak to my parents is the only goal I should have). But it also feels like maybe I’m getting a little boring? Perhaps it’s because I only surround myself with other actors and so that’s all I talk about? But that shouldn’t inhibit my ability to discuss things other than acting with those actors!? You can see my fixation on acting just by how many times I just wrote the word acting.
   And you might be thinking, well maybe his agent is putting too much pressure on him? On the contrary. Any time I tell them I’m going away they absolutely avoid contact unless it’s essential. To the point where I missed two call backs this year because I was away. The first was during my dad’s birthday and the second was during my indie film shoot in Minneapolis. And this second callback is the callback that would have changed my life btw (I hope you enjoyed that click bait). Which makes me wonder, what’s more important in my life? I actually considered giving up the opportunity to go to Minneapolis because of this callback but my agent encouraged me to do it, and when else would I have got the experience of shooting in Middle America!? But on the flip side, I’ll never know if I could have got that part? So did I make a mistake?
   The answer: I’m pretty sure Don Hany is playing the role I was shortlisted for anyway which means I never really had a chance but at least I get to look back on my year and have the highlight of travelling and shooting in Minneapolis! Otherwise, I most probably would have looked back on this year as the year that I didn’t get that feature film, which is no way to live life.
   So… do it… just do it… don’t only make your dreams come true… but live your life. And I can say that knowing that the last thing I did today was look up flights to Fiji for the New Year because… yolo.
   Happy New Year Everyone and all the best for 2016.